Tuesday, 27 March 2018

COP: Improved Essay/ Feedback Response

Feedback: 
'This is an excellent piece so far showing excellent research and triangulation.

Your main research question is a little clumsy and could do with being a bit more concise and specific. Also, i immediately had the impression that you were going to talk about how brands navigated through changes such as non-binary gender?

I think you are overusing Frieden quite a lot throughout your essay and i appreciate this is easy to do. Where you are using this author just to show that you are presenting a fact try to find someone else who has discussed the same point. This shouldn't take too long.

There are perhaps more examples to explore such as Cosmo-man, the failed attempt by Cosmo magazine to appeal to the male lifestyle market. Also, there is perhaps a bigger issue to address which is WHY brands shift their gender appeal at all. Is this to reflect a changing market place or to artificially construct a new marketplace? There is perhaps an argument for both. If you want to explore this line of argument i would suggest looking at the men's lifestyle magazine market as an example. Check out Gender and the media by Gill; Masculinities and culture by Beynon; Hard looks by Nixon; and Men in the mirror by Edwards as a bit of an overview (don't worry about reading all cover to cover focus in on the introductions and conclusions).'

Upon receiving this feedback I discuss the points raised in more detail with my tutor in order to best understand how to respond. This discussion allowed me to identify the key points of concern raised within written feedback such as the overuse of Frieden and the need to support this use with other sources in order to create a stronger piece of writing. Also I found the references given within written feedback interesting as it gave me other sources to look at when trying to develop my essay by adding other sources to support my argument. Furthermore when improving my essay a number of sources have been added Grubb & Grathwohl (1967), Palan (2001) and (Jung & Lee, 2006) (see bibliography)  as these sources where identified whilst reviewing my initial research allowing them to fit into my essay well by supporting the points already made. 

Bibliography (new references):

Jung, K. and Lee, W. (2006). Cross-gender brand extensions: Effects of gender of the brand, gender of consumer, and product type on evaluation of cross-gender extensions. Advances in Consumer Research, 33, pp.67-74.

Grubb, E. and Grathwohl, H. (1967). Consumer Self-Concept, Symbolism and Market Behavior: A Theoretical Approach. Journal of Marketing, 31(4), pp.22-27.

Palan, k. (2001). Gender identity in consumer behaviour research: A literature review and research agenda. Academy of Marketing Science Review, pp.1-26.


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